For too long, I was afraid. Afraid of losing love, of not being accepted, of standing out when all I wanted was to belong. "Too long I’ve been afraid of losing love, I guess I’ve lost." How many of us have clung to people, places, and roles simply because we’re terrified of losing the love we think we need? We convince ourselves that fitting in, staying small, and settling will somehow keep us safe, keep us loved. But, oh, what a misconception that is. Because the most profound love you will ever know is the love you give to yourself.
And that, my dears, is the lesson Defying Gravity taught me.
Elphaba’s journey is one of self-acceptance, of finding her own strength in a world that never quite understood her. As she stands there, ready to break free, she declares, "Something has changed within me, something is not the same." How many of us have felt that shift, that flicker of truth within us? The realization that we can no longer live by others' expectations, that we deserve more than what the world has tried to impose upon us.
For too long, we’ve been afraid—afraid of losing approval, of not fitting in, of being too much or not enough. And so, we hide pieces of ourselves, dim our light, and tell ourselves it’s better this way. We cling to relationships, to roles, to places that no longer serve us because we fear that without them, we’ll be lost. But the truth is, embracing all that we are—even the parts that others may find "too much" or "not enough"—is where true freedom lies.
In Defying Gravity, Elphaba decides that she will no longer accept limits simply because someone else says they're so. She says, “I will no longer settle for less than I deserve.” And there’s a strength in that declaration, a strength we can all tap into. Loving yourself enough to set boundaries, to walk away from what doesn’t honor you, to stand alone if that’s what it takes—that’s where real courage is born.
When I look back on my own journey, I see how many times I allowed fear to keep me in situations that didn’t serve me. I stayed in relationships that drained me, in jobs that undervalued me, in places that felt like cages. I told myself that if I left, if I chose myself, I’d be giving up the love I needed. But slowly, I began to realize that the love I needed wasn’t out there—it was within me all along. Choosing myself, loving myself, was the most radical act of courage I could have taken. And just like Elphaba, I knew that by finally stepping into my own power, I was defying gravity.
Standing alone isn’t loneliness; it’s liberation. When you stand alone, you free yourself from the weight of others' expectations. You no longer have to twist yourself to fit into spaces that aren’t meant for you. You don’t have to settle for less, just to feel accepted. You can stand tall, fully, and unapologetically yourself, and the world will have to adjust.
But let’s not pretend it’s easy. Growth often means goodbyes—goodbyes to people, to comfort zones, and to parts of ourselves we thought we needed. And saying goodbye, taking that risk, stepping into the unknown—it’s terrifying. It’s a reminder that, yes, change is hard, but it’s also the only way to find true freedom. To break free, to embrace ourselves fully, and to no longer fear losing love because we realize we already have the love that matters most: our own.
As we move through October, with Halloween’s masks and costumes all around us, let’s take a moment to check in with ourselves. Are we hiding behind masks every day? Are we dimming parts of ourselves to appease others? We might tell ourselves that it’s better to blend in, to fit in, to be "good." But the truth is, there’s nothing wicked about setting boundaries, about loving yourself fiercely, about choosing to walk away from what doesn’t honor you.
If you’re reading this and you feel stuck, trapped in a place where you don’t belong—whether it’s in a relationship, a job, or even in the expectations others have set for you. You don’t have to stay in a space that doesn’t serve you. You don’t have to settle. You are worthy of love, respect, and happiness, and that starts with the love and respect you give yourself.
So, as you navigate this season of change, don’t be afraid to be unapologetically yourself. Stand tall in who you are. Let people say what they will. If they misunderstand you, if they turn away, that’s on them—not on you. Embrace yourself, flaws, and all, and understand that it’s not wicked to love yourself. It’s fearless. It’s bold. It’s the most magical thing you can do.
Because when you truly love yourself, you’re defying gravity. You’re breaking free from all that holds you down. And in that freedom, you’ll find a peace that no one can take away. So spread your wings, let go of the fear, and fly. The world may not understand, but it doesn’t need to.
You’re not here to fit in—you’re here to soar.
See you on the next post and Happy Halloween!
Yours Truly,
Serina
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